{"product_id":"zero-fcks-embroidered-denim-pouch-11807","title":"Zero F*cks Embroidered Denim Pouch | Sarcastic Adult Gift (Mystery Design)","description":"\u003cp\u003e🖕 CURRENT F*CKS AVAILABLE: ZERO. 🖕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the Zero F*cks Mystery Pouch—for those days when positivity is suspicious, patience has left the building, and your last remaining f*ck packed a tiny suitcase and moved away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou'll receive ONE handmade embroidered denim zipper pouch featuring a surprise design from the sassier, spicier and occasionally profane side of Witty Chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✨ YOU CHOOSE THE ATTITUDE. I CHOOSE THE CHAOS. ✨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour mystery design may involve:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🖕 Profanity \u0026amp; inappropriate gestures\u003cbr\u003e\n☕ Caffeine-fueled hostility\u003cbr\u003e\n💀 Dark humor \u0026amp; questionable coping mechanisms\u003cbr\u003e\n🔥 Sarcasm, spite \u0026amp; general irritation\u003cbr\u003e\n🌈 Cheerfully inappropriate nonsense\u003cbr\u003e\n😈 Designs that probably shouldn't attend polite family functions\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT YOU'LL RECEIVE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💜 ONE handmade embroidered denim zipper pouch\u003cbr\u003e\n💜 One surprise sarcastic\/spicy embroidery design\u003cbr\u003e\n💜 Selected from the Zero F*cks side of the Witty Chaos design vault\u003cbr\u003e\n💜 Perfect for makeup, pens, charging cords, medications, emergency snacks—or storing all the f*cks you no longer possess\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT: THIS ONE HAS A POTTY MOUTH\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis collection is intended for adults and may include profanity, rude humor, inappropriate sayings or gestures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the word f*ck makes Aunt Linda clutch her pearls, this may not be Aunt Linda's mystery pouch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnless, of course, Aunt Linda is secretly hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎁 THE MYSTERY PART\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis listing is intentionally a mystery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're choosing the Zero F*cks theme, not a particular phrase or embroidery design. Your exact design will be selected by me from the wonderfully inappropriate options in this collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpecific designs are not guaranteed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's the deal:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou bring zero f*cks.\u003cbr\u003e\nI provide one pouch. 😂\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for best friends, coworkers with a sense of humor, exhausted moms, sarcastic sisters, chaotic humans—or yourself, because frankly you've been through enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHandmade with caffeine, sarcasm \u0026amp; absolutely no remaining f*cks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e— Witty Chaos Company 💜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Chaos","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51774777884918,"sku":"ET-4543611807","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0812\/9249\/3046\/files\/il_fullxfull.8622929249_r1t0.jpg?v=1790870096","url":"https:\/\/wittychaos.com\/products\/zero-fcks-embroidered-denim-pouch-11807","provider":"Witty Chaos","version":"1.0","type":"link"}